March 3, 2009
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Suicide is s hot button that the self-righteous love to rant about, but I for one see it as an option to end suffering. The feeling of uselessness, especially in these days of hard times can drive a person to dispose of themselves. My mother just came in nag me about finding a job when there are none. We just had a conversation just a week ago regarding her leaving me alone until I have finished school. Typical of my mom to magically forget the terms of my stay just a week later.
It seems that there are too many people in the world for too few jobs. I would gladly like to add my contribution to lifting the burden by leaving this world. I am not particularly religious, but I being raised as a Buddhist, I do worry about the cycle of rebirth. I don’t want to be born again. However, how long must I suffer living this life to attain Nirvana?
Then again, there are my views that humans are just part of the food chain and there is no afterlife. If I feed myself to a shark, will mother nature grant me clemency and never recycle me? What if I have a scientist end my life and then donate my body to science
? You’d think that would serve a better purpose than just sitting here and being tortured by my mom on occasion. My dog, Pasha, was given a comforting death by my vet. No pain and me to tell stories to her as she left. Why can’t have the same exit? It’s not fair.
Then there is going homeless. I wish I still had my car. I would just live a life on the California coast and be a beach bum. I will have worries, but not at the expense of other people. Yeah, just buy a volkswagon bus and camp out until the end of the school year. I feel better already.
In a society where no one respects unless you are earning money, the idea of “leaving” is very attractive. Society is full of contradictions; “Oh, no. It’s wrong to kill yourself” yet “Join the military and be a trained killing machine to murder other people with different views than your own and get killed in the process”. I for one am fond of a Chinese tradition that a friend of mine stated in a suicide prevention survey in one of my RA meetings:
“In a struggling family it is a common practice for the elderly member to commit suicide to ensure the survival of the family.”
Sounds rather noble to me. Yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes a sacrifice must be made in order to reach it.