May 24, 2011
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A friend of mine just told be of a business woman who holds seminars that teaches Black women to be marriage material. However, the jist was to marry anybody just to co-habitate. This extremely short sighted. It has been observed that Black women make bad choices in men to begin with, so the seminar is moot. It should be how to marry an Apollo, not a Hephaestus or Ares (which is the archetype many Black men fall into unfortunately). Furthermore, since Western hegemony has left so few Black men to marry, the obvious solution would be to marry outside the race. Unfortunately, there is a ceiling and it doesn’t even bother to be made of glass. Take note of the columnist, Satoshi Kanazawa of Psychology Today who rendered Black women as less beautiful than other races. You can find the NPR link the hurtful article here:
Psycology Today’s Blogger’s Ugly Conclusions Anger Some in the Black Community
The entrepreneur my friend mentioned by me running into a cruel and distasteful brick wall. My response to my friend’s argument is below.
I would hope such an entrepreneur would teach women how to marry formidable, self-sufficient husbands, not just someone who is breathing. Who wants a listless loser with flies buzzing around his head?
The challenge is, women are ranked and Black women are at the bottom of the list. An ambitious man who considers wealth and power as the measure of self-worth will use his wife to advance his status. We Black women aren’t even valued by our own men, so why would a White, Asian, etc. CEO of a Fortune 500 company take a Black wife?
Not all was this bleak in the 80’s 90’s when I was dating. Lisa Bonet and Angela Basset made great strides for Black women in their work. Lisa illustrated how beautiful interracial children can be (which many non-Black men worry about) and Angela represented how a Black woman can be beautiful and resourceful as the breadwinner of the family. A bread-winning wife is a threat to many men—but at least she isn’t a gold-digger! Unfortunately, Halle Berry killed all of this by performing as one of our worst stereotypes in Monster’s Ball and set our status tumbling toward the bottom all over again. Basset was offered the role of Leticia first, but she said she wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. I love you, Angela. I hate you, Halle 😡
Regardless, the damage of Monster’s Ball is done and it’s really upsetting. Black women are something to be pitied, used and discarded by men now, and I would rather be alone than settle. I did not just spend 20 years earning a bachelors and a post-graduate degree just to become a welfare queen and gangster’s moll. I want someone comparable to myself to marry. However, I’ve observed which way the wind was blowing over the years in college social settings, and although there are windows of hope, it is still very difficult for an American version of Iman to find her David Bowie.
Not that it would do much good, other than the satisfaction of protest, but if you would like to give Kanazawa a good kick in the ass for his actions please sign the petition at the following link. However, it won’t stop Kanazawa from holding his opinions or spreading it in symposiums.
Color of Change.org